That is what David heard when he picked up the phone at work yesterday. Though he probably wished at that moment he hadn't picked up the phone, this is how the conversation went:
Ally: "I finally figured out what is living in the fake tree in our study!"
David: " Oh?"
Ally: "Yes! A giant lizard!"
David: "No way?"
Ally: "Yes! I told you something was living in that tree! I am kind of freaked out and don't know what to do!"
David: "Hahahaha, wait, how did you figure out there was a lizard in the tree?"
Ally: "Well, I heard the rusting sound I always hear and I looked over there really fast and I saw something move... so I rolled up a piece of paper and started poking at the tree. Then, I saw something move again. So, I peered around the tree and no lie, a giant lizard was staring right at me inches from my face!"
David: "Wow."
Ally: "David!!!! What do I do?!?!? There is a giant lizard living in our house!"
David: "I wonder how he has been surviving for this long."
Ally: "David!"
David: "Wait... are you being serious? Are you really freaked out?"
Ally: "Yes!"
David: "Over a harmless lizard?"
Ally: "Yes."
David: "Just leave the tree alone, I'll take care of it when I get home."
The end of that conversation.
A little back story for you. For the last few weeks, every time I am sitting at the computer, I hear a rusting sound in the fake tree in the corner of our study. I have been convinced that something is living in there but everyone I tell thinks that I am crazy. Well, I am surely not crazy.
So, when David got home last night, he took the tree outside and started shaking it. He then decided to shake it in the driveway so we could see when this giant lizard fell out. He asked me for a detailed description so he could be prepared. I described him in great detail. So after a few minutes of shaking, this guy pops out:

After the comment "he's awfully skinny"-- side note: David is a friend to all animals, he doesn't even like to kill spiders, I however wouldn't have been upset if our lizard friend hadn't survived, end side note-- I got a little bit of a hard time about this "giant lizard". Oops. At least he isn't living in my study anymore!